We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
