Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
