i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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