We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
