waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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