"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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