So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This couple is walking their pig around campus
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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