I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Houston, we have a squirter
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
