I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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