Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
