Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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