Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
