My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
