i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
