I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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