oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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