You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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