He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
this boner is exhausting
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am available for nakedness
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
