dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
