I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
