we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
