do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
