i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
