OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
