I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
