i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am spending my child support on dildos
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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