i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
