it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
