Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
