i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
