My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
