Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
