I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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