How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
