I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
