it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
