I look better un-naked...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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