too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
