he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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