hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
