the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
