Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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