Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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