I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
