Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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