So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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