I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
