Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
