you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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