Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
